WOW what a day it was, sorry for not being able to write, it was soo busy and I wanted to be able to get all of it out!!! so I figure I would wait until today to dish, SO HERE GOES!!
Yesterday was my Real World audition, (I know too funny huh?) Everyone who knows me thinks I should have my own t.v show so I said here is the chance. So I left at about 9:30 am to begin my 2.5 hr ride to New Haven where the casting calls were being held. It was at a club called Toad's Place, very close to Yale. I had received a V.I.P pass to skip the line, which surprisingly when I got there did not exist; so the pass that I had in my possesion no longer made me feel special, and for some reason I did not think I still had the upperhand. Well anyways, they gave me a packet to fill out asking many questions from, my worst traits, to best traits, do I have a DUI? and a slew of other questions. After filling them out trying to be as honest and entertaining as possible I was told to join the crowd and wait. Immediately being drawn to a lot of other people (who were just as crazy as me) the time flew and pretty soon we were being called in groups of 6 to meet with the casting director who was crazy as hell might I add. I soon found out I was in the same group as Emilio... if your wondering who that is ( so was I) He was Snooki's former BF on the Jersey Shore, as well as Heidi and Spencer's old roomate... CRAZY HUH? After making it through the first round and having the casting director in stitches I was asked to stick around, and so was Emilio, a girl with webbed toes, and two others who I paid no attention to because my biggest threat at the time was EMILIO! with the director shooting a question out of no where would you rather be on the Bad Girls Club, because I am getting that vibe from you, you know we cast for them as well... NOT knowing what the hell to say I blanked hahah. Soon the second round was over Emilio found out he would not be able to appear on Real World b/c he just did "Love Faces" which airs in April, another girl advanced, and I knew my excursion was over.... After I had a nice talk and walk to the car with Emilio who encouraged me to try out for Bad Girls.... letting me know they get paid way more and I would be great for it ( hahah some agent he would make huh?)
Needless to say I was proud of myself for making it that far, and when I did not reeive the phone call last night as promised I was not upset... guess it just was not meant to be... Maybe that's a sign I should be a bad girl...;)
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Day 8.
Woke up at 6:30 had to be to work at 7:00... late as usual. But for some reason I am still happy, I guess I am beginning to learn you cannot let one mishap or unfortunate event set the tone for your whole day. WHICH A LOT OF PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND!
But on a different note!! I am so excited. Tomorrow I have a very important audition ahead of me, and I did not want to tell anyone because I would like to stay humble and there still is a possibility I may be rejected.... then I would have disappointed myself and many others' so it is best to keep it on the hush hush! But for those reading please wake up tomorrow and say good luck ashley, and for those of you who don't... (here is my cockiness coming in) I DIDN'T NEED YOUR LUCK ANYWAYS!
Today, once I get off work I plan to take a "me" day. Get my nails done so I do not look completely crazy tomorrow, and maybe get some fake lashes put in... even though they friggin pull out my real ones' last time I got them done in N.Y about a month later when I took the extensions out I looked like I was suffering from alopecia ( so on second thought maybe I should stick with what I got)
Oh yah, remember how I said I had a memory like no other... so aside from the fact I deleted this nuisance out of my phone (I can't think of any other word to call him) I still decided to call him. I was bored of course. So with history continuing to repeat itself we get into an argument which for the first time truly leaves me feeling DONE! so I let him know in the nicest way possible I cannot do this anymore and hang up. After saying BYE! for idk how many times and him still not accepting my farewell I hang up. Of course he calls right back like a mad man.... then the phone stops ringing. Thinking to myself he must have gotten the picture finally, I receive a text. AND GUESS WHAT IT SAYS!!!... your mother should have swallowed you... F**K OFF! Finding this only amusing for two reasons 1. Being he is about to be 26 years old and this is how he reacts to certain situations and 2. Being who really has time to download things like that to their phone to send in times of anger... No one with a life anyways.
(p.s) He was totally convinced I wanted something from him he claims I was living in a fantasy world...
So after him hitting my last nerve I had to do it... I spazzed. I said really though J**F, (he has a four letter name, not wanting to embarass him completely I will give you a hint :) )what do I want from you? Could it be the money?!?! yahh of course cuz your some kind of Bill Gates... or perhaps the beautiful mansion you live in?... Yah because I want to live with your parents and twin sisters... Or maybe the sex? NO that has to be it... It really was just the best thing ever that's why I can count how many times we have ever did it. HAHAH SO LOOKING BACK WAS IT ME REALLY IN A FANTASY WORLD?
what an IDIOT!
But on a different note!! I am so excited. Tomorrow I have a very important audition ahead of me, and I did not want to tell anyone because I would like to stay humble and there still is a possibility I may be rejected.... then I would have disappointed myself and many others' so it is best to keep it on the hush hush! But for those reading please wake up tomorrow and say good luck ashley, and for those of you who don't... (here is my cockiness coming in) I DIDN'T NEED YOUR LUCK ANYWAYS!
Today, once I get off work I plan to take a "me" day. Get my nails done so I do not look completely crazy tomorrow, and maybe get some fake lashes put in... even though they friggin pull out my real ones' last time I got them done in N.Y about a month later when I took the extensions out I looked like I was suffering from alopecia ( so on second thought maybe I should stick with what I got)
Oh yah, remember how I said I had a memory like no other... so aside from the fact I deleted this nuisance out of my phone (I can't think of any other word to call him) I still decided to call him. I was bored of course. So with history continuing to repeat itself we get into an argument which for the first time truly leaves me feeling DONE! so I let him know in the nicest way possible I cannot do this anymore and hang up. After saying BYE! for idk how many times and him still not accepting my farewell I hang up. Of course he calls right back like a mad man.... then the phone stops ringing. Thinking to myself he must have gotten the picture finally, I receive a text. AND GUESS WHAT IT SAYS!!!... your mother should have swallowed you... F**K OFF! Finding this only amusing for two reasons 1. Being he is about to be 26 years old and this is how he reacts to certain situations and 2. Being who really has time to download things like that to their phone to send in times of anger... No one with a life anyways.
(p.s) He was totally convinced I wanted something from him he claims I was living in a fantasy world...
So after him hitting my last nerve I had to do it... I spazzed. I said really though J**F, (he has a four letter name, not wanting to embarass him completely I will give you a hint :) )what do I want from you? Could it be the money?!?! yahh of course cuz your some kind of Bill Gates... or perhaps the beautiful mansion you live in?... Yah because I want to live with your parents and twin sisters... Or maybe the sex? NO that has to be it... It really was just the best thing ever that's why I can count how many times we have ever did it. HAHAH SO LOOKING BACK WAS IT ME REALLY IN A FANTASY WORLD?
what an IDIOT!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Day 7.
Wow, I can't believe already it has been a week since I began my so called, "30 day challenege"
at first I wanted to see if I could set goals and stick with them... considering the story of my life is me usually saying I am not going to do something then within hours I am back at it.
I feel good. I feel like I am re-gaining control. It was not too long ago when I honestly felt like I was stuck where I was and things were not going to change anytime soon, it sucked I woke up every morning with the same attitude, knowing I was going to face the same struggles as the day before with the same people... just everything was becoming so repetitive. SO I REALLY NEEDED THIS!. and the fact that I am able to record this experience makes it even better, I guess it is like personal diary in a sense.
Actually thinking about it I have always felt like I needed to have a lot of people around me , a lot of people liking me.... why I'm not to sure ( dr. phil would probably say I had a fear of being alone). And now realizing having a lot of so called "friends" usually brings you more stress than happiness, and those are not positive influences or relationships at all, those are the one's who you are better without.!
So here is day 7's commitment... to only engage in relationships both influenced by love and friendship that will only be of benefit and positivity.
After all that I have went through... and believe me it has been A LOT! I think I owe it to myself to be happy... and anyone else who can relate to me does as well, I think everyone should just start over. I mean it can't get any worse than it has probably already been :)
So here's a toast to new beginnings ( I know I know... no liquor). I guess cranberry will have to do.
Until tomorrow :)
(P.S)Hope everyone is enjoying this lovely snow... smh isn't it almost April?
at first I wanted to see if I could set goals and stick with them... considering the story of my life is me usually saying I am not going to do something then within hours I am back at it.
I feel good. I feel like I am re-gaining control. It was not too long ago when I honestly felt like I was stuck where I was and things were not going to change anytime soon, it sucked I woke up every morning with the same attitude, knowing I was going to face the same struggles as the day before with the same people... just everything was becoming so repetitive. SO I REALLY NEEDED THIS!. and the fact that I am able to record this experience makes it even better, I guess it is like personal diary in a sense.
Actually thinking about it I have always felt like I needed to have a lot of people around me , a lot of people liking me.... why I'm not to sure ( dr. phil would probably say I had a fear of being alone). And now realizing having a lot of so called "friends" usually brings you more stress than happiness, and those are not positive influences or relationships at all, those are the one's who you are better without.!
So here is day 7's commitment... to only engage in relationships both influenced by love and friendship that will only be of benefit and positivity.
After all that I have went through... and believe me it has been A LOT! I think I owe it to myself to be happy... and anyone else who can relate to me does as well, I think everyone should just start over. I mean it can't get any worse than it has probably already been :)
So here's a toast to new beginnings ( I know I know... no liquor). I guess cranberry will have to do.
Until tomorrow :)
(P.S)Hope everyone is enjoying this lovely snow... smh isn't it almost April?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Day 6.
GOOODDD MORRNING! I woke up feeling excellent today considering the fact that I got 3 hrs of sleep last night and may have had one too many! I must say I am loving the change I am making...
Story begins, and I decide to go out last night and of course I end up in providence, what else is new? With the fact that I never have cash and I am known as the "plastic queen" of course I forgot cash, and I needed to go to the ATM as I was standing in line. SMH to both the fact I would have to loose my place in this ridiculous line, and also SMH to the fact that I was even standing in line in the first place. So I sprint to a tattoo shop nearby and luckily they were open and had an ATM as well. Then guess what back to the line... So as I am freezing my booty pop off, trying to be patient, and These "MTO buffies" yes that is my new name for hoodrats, media takeout buffies lol because they are so entertaining but yet so sad, but anyways of course they wiggle their way through the line and stop behind me (I am truly convinced they stopped for 2 reeasons)... #1 Because I am not for that cutting ISH and I would have absolutely caused a scene and had to snatch a BI**H... or #2 they wanted to annoy the hell out of me... WELL AT LEAST THEY ACCOMPLSHED ONE THING ! I heard all of their nonsense ranging from who's doing who... to black girls having "kinky hair" not nappy either way these buffies were saying way too much about nothing in my ear, and it took every fiber of my being to keep my composure; even considering they bumped me 2 times which I am convinced was done on purpose. But either way I did it, I have always questioned my self- control and how much of it I really have... and I bet my readers do too after reading confessionals of how I spaz-out the way I do, but finally some good fortune came my way, I met some Africans from France who only spoke french and were intrigued by my beauty as well as the fact that I could say 3 some in french... what they failed to realize was I can also say it in 3 other languages and I would never do anything in a trio with them. Either way they let me cut them, and the coco-losos they brought for me was a nice touch too... So after denying everyone who came my way and finally conquering the Italian dude that was too cool for his own good! I stumbled out the club happy as ever, and up 1... guess im on my way back to building up they book ( either way IDC, im too focused on ONLY ME ME ME!, everyone else is irrelavent)
P.S (I found out the authenticity will always outweigh the fake )...lmao unfortunately
SELF CONTROL- IS THE KEY TO SELF DISCIPLINE!
As of 03-21-2011 I am back to life, all work no more play Vacation has been fun! Until tomorrow.
Story begins, and I decide to go out last night and of course I end up in providence, what else is new? With the fact that I never have cash and I am known as the "plastic queen" of course I forgot cash, and I needed to go to the ATM as I was standing in line. SMH to both the fact I would have to loose my place in this ridiculous line, and also SMH to the fact that I was even standing in line in the first place. So I sprint to a tattoo shop nearby and luckily they were open and had an ATM as well. Then guess what back to the line... So as I am freezing my booty pop off, trying to be patient, and These "MTO buffies" yes that is my new name for hoodrats, media takeout buffies lol because they are so entertaining but yet so sad, but anyways of course they wiggle their way through the line and stop behind me (I am truly convinced they stopped for 2 reeasons)... #1 Because I am not for that cutting ISH and I would have absolutely caused a scene and had to snatch a BI**H... or #2 they wanted to annoy the hell out of me... WELL AT LEAST THEY ACCOMPLSHED ONE THING ! I heard all of their nonsense ranging from who's doing who... to black girls having "kinky hair" not nappy either way these buffies were saying way too much about nothing in my ear, and it took every fiber of my being to keep my composure; even considering they bumped me 2 times which I am convinced was done on purpose. But either way I did it, I have always questioned my self- control and how much of it I really have... and I bet my readers do too after reading confessionals of how I spaz-out the way I do, but finally some good fortune came my way, I met some Africans from France who only spoke french and were intrigued by my beauty as well as the fact that I could say 3 some in french... what they failed to realize was I can also say it in 3 other languages and I would never do anything in a trio with them. Either way they let me cut them, and the coco-losos they brought for me was a nice touch too... So after denying everyone who came my way and finally conquering the Italian dude that was too cool for his own good! I stumbled out the club happy as ever, and up 1... guess im on my way back to building up they book ( either way IDC, im too focused on ONLY ME ME ME!, everyone else is irrelavent)
P.S (I found out the authenticity will always outweigh the fake )...lmao unfortunately
SELF CONTROL- IS THE KEY TO SELF DISCIPLINE!
As of 03-21-2011 I am back to life, all work no more play Vacation has been fun! Until tomorrow.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Day 5.
As I am standing behind my front desk watching the weather forcast from the breakfast room I can see it is going to be a cold day, as well as week -_-. Not what I needed to hear!
But on a brighter note I feel a lot less tense, yesterday I found out I would be able to get my license reinbursed... but of course a fee would apply ( SMH, I told you the world we live in is about nothing but money.) It would cost $1,075, and I would get a hardship license on May 4th, under the condition that my driving classes are completed, I get letters from my job and I pay a $500 reinstatement fee... At first I questioned myself is it worth it... Not realizing that no matter what I do, I would have to pay, and take the classes anyways in order to get my driving privilleges back I would just have until December to do it, when I would be eligible to get a real license. So the question is do I hustle and pay so I can be back on the road... or do I go a whole summer, fall, as well as some of winter without a license, depending on people to cart Miss Ashley around and be totally and completely miserable?... UM HELLO! looks like I will be on a tight budget until May because I need my life back.
After getting older, and seeing that life is not all peaches and cream I have realized sometimes you have to make sacrafices in order to get what you want. It's about being an adult and doing what you have to do, some fail to realize that and that is why they continue to exist the way they do, living paycheck to paycheck.. broke in order to keep up with the Jones' Thats's not how you do it... in my case I want to go without for a little bit so I can SAVE SAVE SAVE, and define the Jones' :)
It's better to aspire for greatness, and achieve, then dream big and settle for less.- Ashley que
p.s About that date... yah, it never happened Nile's Longe with the girls to smoke some Hookah sounded way more appealing than watching this dude eat and talk about the stock market, money, and cars (#rollseyes)
TIME TO GET ON THE BALL, and make it happen (until tomorrow!)
But on a brighter note I feel a lot less tense, yesterday I found out I would be able to get my license reinbursed... but of course a fee would apply ( SMH, I told you the world we live in is about nothing but money.) It would cost $1,075, and I would get a hardship license on May 4th, under the condition that my driving classes are completed, I get letters from my job and I pay a $500 reinstatement fee... At first I questioned myself is it worth it... Not realizing that no matter what I do, I would have to pay, and take the classes anyways in order to get my driving privilleges back I would just have until December to do it, when I would be eligible to get a real license. So the question is do I hustle and pay so I can be back on the road... or do I go a whole summer, fall, as well as some of winter without a license, depending on people to cart Miss Ashley around and be totally and completely miserable?... UM HELLO! looks like I will be on a tight budget until May because I need my life back.
After getting older, and seeing that life is not all peaches and cream I have realized sometimes you have to make sacrafices in order to get what you want. It's about being an adult and doing what you have to do, some fail to realize that and that is why they continue to exist the way they do, living paycheck to paycheck.. broke in order to keep up with the Jones' Thats's not how you do it... in my case I want to go without for a little bit so I can SAVE SAVE SAVE, and define the Jones' :)
It's better to aspire for greatness, and achieve, then dream big and settle for less.- Ashley que
p.s About that date... yah, it never happened Nile's Longe with the girls to smoke some Hookah sounded way more appealing than watching this dude eat and talk about the stock market, money, and cars (#rollseyes)
TIME TO GET ON THE BALL, and make it happen (until tomorrow!)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Day 4.
So, I lied whooppss yeah about me not drinking anymore that unopened bottle of Moscato is now empty, after 5 glasses 1 bubble bath and an argument later I soon regretted opening that bottle. But you know what they say there is no point in crying over spilled milk.
But on a brighter note, I woke up feeling great and the fact its absolutely gorgeous out today def. Adds to my bliss. I also want to note that XM: 62 is jammin' right now! Jagged edge, carl thomas... I love it
So I had court this morning... I want to say we live in such a corrupt society that does not care about anything but money which is rather unfortunate.I showed up a bit nervous I must admit fretting I would be brought up on serious charges judging from the tone of the letter, but that proved to be far from the truth all the wanted was me to pay some fines... So what I gathered after taking this all in was they basically threatened me so I would pay them... Isn't that illegal! Well anyways good thing I did not order those YSL heels I have been daydreaming about for the past 3 weeks or I would be completing the rest of my 30 day challenge from behind bars probably with a girlfriend named “BIG D” :(
Today which marks day 4 of my 30 day challenge will be dedicated to taking care of any debts that are owed. Anyone who knows me knows I hate to pay bills!! I know I know bad that I would. Rather shop that pay a bill smh well that is all changing considering this morning I was given no choice and basically threatened to pay a bill I am going to save everyone else the trouble and pay them sooo... Capital one, comcast, natinal grid the list goes on I have something very special coming your way.
I also have a hot date tonight with a not so hot man... Hopefully he is nice (I will def. Spill!)
Until tomorrow... New hair, new book, new feelings, and smart financial decisions It just keeps getting better!
But on a brighter note, I woke up feeling great and the fact its absolutely gorgeous out today def. Adds to my bliss. I also want to note that XM: 62 is jammin' right now! Jagged edge, carl thomas... I love it
So I had court this morning... I want to say we live in such a corrupt society that does not care about anything but money which is rather unfortunate.I showed up a bit nervous I must admit fretting I would be brought up on serious charges judging from the tone of the letter, but that proved to be far from the truth all the wanted was me to pay some fines... So what I gathered after taking this all in was they basically threatened me so I would pay them... Isn't that illegal! Well anyways good thing I did not order those YSL heels I have been daydreaming about for the past 3 weeks or I would be completing the rest of my 30 day challenge from behind bars probably with a girlfriend named “BIG D” :(
Today which marks day 4 of my 30 day challenge will be dedicated to taking care of any debts that are owed. Anyone who knows me knows I hate to pay bills!! I know I know bad that I would. Rather shop that pay a bill smh well that is all changing considering this morning I was given no choice and basically threatened to pay a bill I am going to save everyone else the trouble and pay them sooo... Capital one, comcast, natinal grid the list goes on I have something very special coming your way.
I also have a hot date tonight with a not so hot man... Hopefully he is nice (I will def. Spill!)
Until tomorrow... New hair, new book, new feelings, and smart financial decisions It just keeps getting better!
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